Some of us wonder how do we go on living after the one we love had left us. When we lost someone we love dearly, it seems as though the world collapses around us. As if time comes to a halt, we stop breathing and nothing matters anymore. Recently, a very dear friend of mine lost her love because her boyfriend no longer wants to be in a relationship with her. She was struck with shock and disbelief that it could happen so suddenly without warning. As I listened to her cries my heart goes out to her. I know exactly how sad, frustrating and lonely she must have been because I was there in her shoes at one time. I had ridden that roller coaster more than once.
Whether we lost the person we love to illness or simply because the flame of romance has extinguished, the pain that we felt are the same. We gone through the process of grieving, lost, despair, anger…we blame ourselves, we blame the other person and we blame the world for being so unfair. We would scurry around looking for an explanation, looking for an answer to justify what had just happened to us. And then when all leads come to a dead end, we succumb to our own trepidation.
Why is it that we try so hard to cling onto something that is no longer there? Why do we torture ourselves and beat ourselves up and deny ourselves of our own love? Why do we suffer so much? Do we really love the other person so much that the thought of losing him is so unbearable? Or is it that we have so much ego that we cannot accept the fact of loosing someone we thought it was meant to be ours? The truth is we have not yet understand the true nature of existence.
The Buddha had taught us that all things are subject to change. Anicca…Anicca…impermanence! Life is a series of events that comes and goes at any giving moment when the conditions are right. When an event comes into our life, if we can accept it as it is and when it leaves us, if we can let it go without clinging to it and without feeling sorry and angry toward it, then we will lessen our suffering and understand the nature of its existence and impermanence. And perhaps by accepting the changes we will no longer have such a strong desire to cling onto it and want thing to happen the way we wish it to be. Until then, we will always be spiraling down this suffering path hopelessly.
To everyone out there who are feeling sorrow, hopeless, alone and despair, I want you to know that you are not alone. There is more to life than you think. Look around, smell the flowers along the way and cherish every breath you take and every moment you have on this earth because after a stormy weather the sun will come out again, and that is not a promise, that is a fact!